Driving Me Insane

Published January 31, 2013 by inanortherntown

I used to think that I had the smartest car in the world. Harken back to a time when I lived in a temperate rain forest and frolicked in green parks filled with gigantic evergreen trees – an almost mythical place filled with bountiful coffee shops, delicious sushi bars and cheap pedicure salons. Sob.

I digress.

Anyway, back when I drove the golden streets of the magical kingdom, two or three times a year an extreme weather warning was issued for the temperatures would dip dangerously low to zero degrees, my smart and brave car would gently notify me that I might encounter “Possible Icy Roads”. “What a miracle of modern technology” I would say to myself, “a vehicle that really cares about my family’s wellbeing.”

Now that I have been banished to the frozen tundra, I know better. This car is pure evil and will take every opportunity to mock me mercilessly.

The first time I drove here and a “Possible Icy Roads” warning was issued – I snorted ironically. “Possible Icy Roads”? Really? What gave it away? The sheets of pure ice masquerading as roads? The fact that I am reading articles like “Walk Like A Penguin“?

Still the car continued on its daily quest to shake my sanity. When I started the car, the warning would appear; then it started appearing when I would try to turn left – the warning would appear AND the back end of the car would decide to go in another direction. Now it just randomly appears: driving, attempting to turn left, waiting at traffic lights, and recently when I’ve been sitting on the couch, I can feel the car taunting me from the garage.

Icy Roads

“Possible Icy Roads” – bring it. It’s going to take more than that to unhinge me.


5 comments on “Driving Me Insane

  • No, they are still trying to convince the government to move the deer crossing signs to a much safer location – who thought it was a good idea to set up a crosswalk for deer on the highway anyways? LMAO (wouldn’t it be nice if laughing would really make it smaller?)

  • Maybe you should see if the dealer can put an camera under the hood so it can “see” the conditions and give you a proper warning….. Without that option (if available) it can only guess. 🙂

  • I thought the roads in FMM were paved in gold? Maybe the gold is under the ice? Your dashboard says it’s -29 degrees outside. There would have to be a lot of gold to make that worth it! 🙂

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