Rants

All posts in the Rants category

Sight Supervisor

Published May 12, 2014 by inanortherntown

The town is growing at a rapid, some might even say alarming, rate. Since moving here 17 months ago, two new shopping plazas have opened, two new elementary schools are being built and a new subdivision with 600 homes is currently under construction.

All of the construction is near where I live and I’ve been a weekly “sight” supervisor for one particular plaza. Now that the weather has warmed up, I’ve increased my duties to a daily routine.

Reason #1
My favourite grocery store is coming there and from the outside it looks big – I’ve heard (from other sight supervisors) that the produce section will a major focus. (side rant: you can buy rotten produce here – stores don’t even blink to leave manky, slimy fruits and vegetables in the bin. I’m can’t figure out the logic, do they think I’ll decide to buy malodorous cabbage because the cauliflower and broccoli are rank?? WELL, THINK AGAIN.) Ahem. Moving on…

Reason #2
There will be UNDERGROUND parking – the first in town. This is huge!!! I will gladly get up at o’dark thirty to secure an underground parking spot while procuring my organic vegetables. Just think, when I exit the store, I won’t have to unearth my car from the snow or ice. AMAZING!!

Reason #3
Starbucks is opening up their second standalone store and it’s in this plaza. It’s within walking distance, I could take Baaj for a walk and mysteriously end up here!!!I’ve been peering in the window trying to gauge the progress and tonight my question was answered:

Walking distance to Nirvana

Walking distance to Nirvana

I know that I should be supporting independent coffee shops but there is only one in town (and it’s not within walking distance). The stand is cleverly hidden in a sports store. The barista is so affronted that you’ve found him and he has to get up from reading his book and actually make a coffee that he gets huffy. And rude. And stomps around. One time he told me that the special of the day was buy 1 coffee get 1 free but it didn’t apply to my order (I was paying for 4 coffees) because he had to tell me about it. I asked him how else would I have known but he just rolled his eyes and took my money…….That was……amusing 😉

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Electo Math!

Published February 19, 2013 by inanortherntown

We were literally down to the wire before the science project reached its shocking conclusion!

In case you ever need to complete a Grade 5 science assignment – I present to you (no charge)
Simple Circuits for Grade 5 Science

Electo Math – has 8 questions and 8 answers glued onto the presentation board:

Electo Math

Close-up view – there are brass fasteners placed at the end of each question and beginning of each answer:

Close up Electo Math

Here is the simple circuit using two 6-volt flashlights (would you believe it if I told you that we bought the last two 6-volt flashlights in town? Believe it. I was almost to the point of having someone FedEx us some flashlights. Seriously.)

Electo Flashlights

We placed everything in a simple white box – so it would be a look less re-volt-ing during the presentation.

In action – correctly answer the question and the board lights up 🙂

Electo Ta Da

Behind the scenes – the snarl of wires:

Snarl of Wires

Tonight our school board made the decision NOT to shorten our school week to 4-day (Monday to Thursday) week but keep it at the current 4.5 day schedule. I am very pleased about this decision – a shorter school week would mean more of these type projects on top of everything else.

This project is due tomorrow complete with a report and schematic drawing. On Thursday, the King Tut report and PowerPoint presentation is due. Is this a crazy amount of homework? What happens to the poor kid who doesn’t have the resources and/or parental time in order to shop, plan, create, and complete these huge projects?

I’m getting all amped up.

I’ll pull the plug on this rant and step off the lecture circuit.

Good night!

OHM.

A Rant About Drivers #1

Published February 9, 2013 by inanortherntown

parking example

I saw this picture tonight on Twitter tonight from @Jon_Tupper remarking on another “parking hero” in the city and it reminded me that I have something to tell you – I drove over a meridian in the mall parking lot today.

Allow me to explain.

The traffic here is a nightmare; there is so much construction that even if the roads were clear of snow, there are no lines painted on the pavement and it seems to be one big free-for-all. For example, sometimes when driving in a one lane formation, with cars in front of me and behind me but NOT beside me, I’ll pass a construction sign saying “Left lane MUST turn left” and I’ll have a massive freak-out because – am in the left lane? I thought it was only one lane? I don’t think I want to turn left?

Not only is driving a nightmare – you should see the parking. There are piles of snow everywhere, there are no visible parking lines, and it has devolved into a free-for-all: cars are simply abandoned, sideways, front ways, taking up the space for two vehicles. It’s obviously insane. I mean just look at that picture – you get it, this is clearly not normal behaviour.

Anyway, I was at the mall this afternoon and I reversed out of my parking spot when I realized that this great big F150 on steroids had parked in the lane that I had to use to exit the parking lot. I’m totally not making this up. There were cars trying to take my spot (think mall city parking at Christmas) and I was blocked in. I did what any sensible person would have done and I drove over the lane meridian across oncoming traffic and then calmly turned onto the street to head home.

I have only been here a month – what is happening to me?

Driving Me Insane

Published January 31, 2013 by inanortherntown

I used to think that I had the smartest car in the world. Harken back to a time when I lived in a temperate rain forest and frolicked in green parks filled with gigantic evergreen trees – an almost mythical place filled with bountiful coffee shops, delicious sushi bars and cheap pedicure salons. Sob.

I digress.

Anyway, back when I drove the golden streets of the magical kingdom, two or three times a year an extreme weather warning was issued for the temperatures would dip dangerously low to zero degrees, my smart and brave car would gently notify me that I might encounter “Possible Icy Roads”. “What a miracle of modern technology” I would say to myself, “a vehicle that really cares about my family’s wellbeing.”

Now that I have been banished to the frozen tundra, I know better. This car is pure evil and will take every opportunity to mock me mercilessly.

The first time I drove here and a “Possible Icy Roads” warning was issued – I snorted ironically. “Possible Icy Roads”? Really? What gave it away? The sheets of pure ice masquerading as roads? The fact that I am reading articles like “Walk Like A Penguin“?

Still the car continued on its daily quest to shake my sanity. When I started the car, the warning would appear; then it started appearing when I would try to turn left – the warning would appear AND the back end of the car would decide to go in another direction. Now it just randomly appears: driving, attempting to turn left, waiting at traffic lights, and recently when I’ve been sitting on the couch, I can feel the car taunting me from the garage.

Icy Roads

“Possible Icy Roads” – bring it. It’s going to take more than that to unhinge me.

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